By the time this blog is live I’ll be 30.
Current Status: sitting on a crowded airplane on my way to Los Angeles, CA.
To some this may seem like no big thing or a dream come true. The funny thing is, I can’t help but think of all the broken dreams and disappointment I went through to be sitting here today. This is not what I pictured my 30th birthday to look like or my life ever for that matter. If you would've asked me in my teens what my dream was, I would’ve told you I wanted to be a mom and a wife. That was my dream. I wanted to be the stay at home mom of 2 kids and maybe have a dog. I wanted to drive a minivan and carpool to soccer on the weekends.
The family that Shawn and I have built over the course of the last 12 years is not the family I dreamed of having. But somehow a nasty bout with endometriosis, one surgery, two miscarriages, and 16 foster children later, we’ve managed to make the most magnificent hodge-podge family of eight that I never asked or dreamed or wished for. We’re quite literally a family built on brokenness that was mended back together, sometimes rather messily, with love.
My home is not the home I dreamed of having. I imagined a small 3 bedroom with a little land and a big front porch. I imagined artfully decorated walls, plush furniture, and a perfectly manicured lawn. What I got was an 18th century farmhouse with drafty walls, cheeto stained furniture and a whole lot of work to be done. Ya’ll, my yard is where toys go to die; honestly, manicured anything went out the window long ago. But hey, it has 5 bedrooms and room for my kiddos to run off that energy. Something we definitely needed. Life is about compromise.
My tribe of friends is not the tribe that I dreamed of having. Most of my high school pals, heck even the friends I made in my early 20’s, have since moved away, had children of their own, or maybe just got tired of hearing me say that I couldn't find a sitter. And you know what? That’s ok. I think we go through seasons in our lives. Some friends are there for specific reasons in specific seasons to help you through or to teach you lessons. That doesn’t make them less valuable. Three years ago I looked around at my friend group and it reminded me of an episode of the “Real Housewives” or if you’re my generation perhaps “Mean Girls” is a better analogy. I was unhappy, unchallenged, and unsupported, and I was no better to them. I walked away. Like, literally walked away. The last 3 years of my life have been dedicated to building a Tribe of amazing, positive, uplifting women. They cheer for me, they cry for me and, with me, they pray fervently for me. They keep me accountable. They call me out on my shit. I do the same for them and we love one another for it.
My career is not the career that I have ever dreamed of having. Stay at home mom with two kids, remember? This girl is headed to Los Angeles, California to network with amazing boutique babes, to visit vendors and designers that will partner to help bring stunning clothing to my customers, to plan big changes and big goals, to build our Chic Tribe to tens of thousands strong! With the help of all of you and my team, we’ve managed to grow 4,000 members strong. We’ve built lasting friendships with each of you and helped you to meet one another. This isn’t about clothes ya’ll. It’s about relationship. It’s about feeling good because you look good. It’s about growing pride and love for yourself. It’s about understanding that you are a FREAKING QUEEN! So straighten that crown sister and know that on days you just can’t manage to do it on your own, we’re here for you. Your people. Your Tribe. Because we were never meant to do life alone. We were created for relationship and if you don’t have that wherever you are in the world by golly you’ll find it here!
My life is chalk full of broken dreams. The life I’m living is not the life I planned or imagined for myself. If you would’ve told me a year ago that this is where I would be standing today, I would’ve laughed. I would’ve told you there was no way. I would’ve given you one million excuses and obstacles standing in the way. So I leave you with this. The next time a dream is broken or shattered remind yourself that some of the best moments in life have come on the back of broken dreams. You only have to choose to rise up to meet them.
Today I’m grateful that God‘s vision, His dream, what He has imagined for my life is bigger and better than mine.
Current status: being stared down by the flight attendant who has now asked me for the second time to please stow my laptop and return my tray table to the upright locked position. Until next time…
Chic Blessings friends,
P.S. My dream for next year is to only fly first class. Really hoping that one doesn't get broken...just saying.