Broken Dreams

Broken Dreams

Ashley Ryckman35 comments

By the time this blog is live I’ll be 30.

Current Status: sitting on a crowded airplane on my way to Los Angeles, CA.

To some this may seem like no big thing or a dream come true. The funny thing is, I can’t help but think of all the broken dreams and disappointment I went through to be sitting here today. This is not what I pictured my 30th birthday to look like or my life ever for that matter. If you would've asked me in my teens what my dream was, I would’ve told you I wanted to be a mom and a wife. That was my dream. I wanted to be the stay at home mom of 2 kids and maybe have a dog. I wanted to drive a minivan and carpool to soccer on the weekends.

 

The family that Shawn and I have built over the course of the last 12 years is not the family I dreamed of having. But somehow a nasty bout with endometriosis, one surgery, two miscarriages, and 16 foster children later, we’ve managed to make the most magnificent hodge-podge family of eight that I never asked or dreamed or wished for. We’re quite literally a family built on brokenness that was mended back together, sometimes rather messily, with love.

 

My home is not the home I dreamed of having. I imagined a small 3 bedroom with a little land and a big front porch. I imagined artfully decorated walls, plush furniture, and a perfectly manicured lawn. What I got was an 18th century farmhouse with drafty walls, cheeto stained furniture and a whole lot of work to be done. Ya’ll, my yard is where toys go to die; honestly, manicured anything went out the window long ago. But hey, it has 5 bedrooms and room for my kiddos to run off that energy. Something we definitely needed. Life is about compromise.

 

 

My tribe of friends is not the tribe that I dreamed of having. Most of my high school pals, heck even the friends I made in my early 20’s, have since moved away, had children of their own, or maybe just got tired of hearing me say that I couldn't find a sitter. And you know what? That’s ok. I think we go through seasons in our lives. Some friends are there for specific reasons in specific seasons to help you through or to teach you lessons. That doesn’t make them less valuable. Three years ago I looked around at my friend group and it reminded me of an episode of the “Real Housewives” or if you’re my generation perhaps “Mean Girls” is a better analogy. I was unhappy, unchallenged, and unsupported, and I was no better to them. I walked away. Like, literally walked away. The last 3 years of my life have been dedicated to building a Tribe of amazing, positive, uplifting women. They cheer for me, they cry for me and, with me, they pray fervently for me. They keep me accountable. They call me out on my shit. I do the same for them and we love one another for it.

 

My career is not the career that I have ever dreamed of having. Stay at home mom with two kids, remember?  This girl is headed to Los Angeles, California to network with amazing boutique babes, to visit vendors and designers that will partner to help bring stunning clothing to my customers, to plan big changes and big goals, to build our Chic Tribe to tens of thousands strong! With the help of all of you and my team, we’ve managed to grow 4,000 members strong. We’ve built lasting friendships with each of you and helped you to meet one another. This isn’t about clothes ya’ll. It’s about relationship. It’s about feeling good because you look good. It’s about growing pride and love for yourself. It’s about understanding that you are a FREAKING QUEEN! So straighten that crown sister and know that on days you just can’t manage to do it on your own, we’re here for you. Your people. Your Tribe. Because we were never meant to do life alone. We were created for relationship and if you don’t have that wherever you are in the world by golly you’ll find it here!

 

My life is chalk full of broken dreams. The life I’m living is not the life I planned or imagined for myself. If you would’ve told me a year ago that this is where I would be standing today, I would’ve laughed. I would’ve told you there was no way. I would’ve given you one million excuses and obstacles standing in the way. So I leave you with this. The next time a dream is broken or shattered remind yourself that some of the best moments in life have come on the back of broken dreams. You only have to choose to rise up to meet them.

Today I’m grateful that God‘s vision, His dream, what He has imagined for my life  is bigger and better than mine.

Current status: being stared down by the flight attendant who has now asked me for the second time to please stow my laptop and return my tray table to the upright locked position. Until next time…



Chic Blessings friends,




P.S. My dream for next year is to only fly first class. Really hoping that one doesn't get broken...just saying.


 

 

 

Contributor/Editor: Kristy Porter

35 comments

Tammie Grimes
Tammie Grimes
Yuh ou have a blessed family given to you by the grace of God. God blessed me with a son. Then cancer and lupus came around. I was unable to have more kids. But the lord above had a different plan. As a single mom now raising my son alone sent me three siblings when my son was just 8yrs old. Sons friends Emily, John and Meghan came home with him from school. They came to stay the weekend end up with me for a year. They called me there giving mom. Because weekends we went to homeless shelter and have back. Learn blessings. Still in contact with them all these years later. Then at 14 my son brought him a friend for the weekend Josh. Went to bring him home on sunday. Parents moved away. So went to court and I raised him until 18 now he is a big wig at Walmart in Missouri. Then when my son was a senior in high school I took in a 14 yrs old daughter kassey. Went to court now shes mine for real. Wow God knew what I needed. Kassey is now grown with two babies of her own. Now my son is done with 7 yrs of college. Life goes so fast. I have been blessed so much . God knew I wanted to be a mom. Blessed.
Cindy
Cindy
What a beautiful story, Brought tears to my eyes. I’m not sure how I found you, but am so grateful that I did. Your accomplishments are amazing, as well as your transformation and all has been a joy to watch. Your confidence is so inspiring and your light truly does shine from the inside out. I’m so happy for you and your family Ashley and I am forever grateful for what you have brought to my world, you give me hope Ashley, all of you do, and no matter what life throws at any of us, without hope, love and light, we have nothing…thank you for all you do💕
Dana McCurdy
Dana McCurdy
I am proud you have gotten where you have gotten I am living a life I never would have thought I would live but I am happier now than I have been in years. God had different plans and I am glad he did for me. I would not change anything. I am very happy your dream came the way it did or I would not have awesome clothes that I do or my awesome MIndy products. So thanks I loved your story and I love the way your life turned out and the way mine has turned for the better. love you.
Traci
Traci
That is beautiful
Frankie Sanders
Frankie Sanders
I have read each and every one of these comments. What a great bunch of women you have following you Ashley. I am not only blessed by you and what you do and have to say, but also what is being said by these amazing women who is showing so much love and gratitude for you. There are still good true amazing people in this world everywhere. Much love to all.😍💖
Clarine Arnold
Clarine Arnold
Ashley, you are my hero whether you know it or not. I was in the midst of depression after losing my 2nd husband of 15 years just about 9 months before I came across you on Facebook. I loved what you were selling, what you were saying and everything about your show. I slowly started watching you every day and felt after a few months like I knew you. That felt weird that I could feel like I knew all of you just by watching and listening and buying. And, also the other ladies that were listening and buying. You are a wonderful person Ashley. Your dreams have come true just in Gods way
Clarine Arnold
Clarine Arnold
Ashley, you are my hero whether you know it or not. I was in the midst of depression after losing my 2nd husband of 15 years just about 9 months before I came across you on Facebook. I loved what you were selling, what you were saying and everything about your show. I slowly started watching you every day and felt after a few months like I knew you. That felt weird that I could feel like I knew all of you just by watching and listening and buying. And, also the other ladies that were listening and buying. You are a wonderful person Ashley. Your dreams have come true just in Gods way
Rhonda
Rhonda
This blog post was a perfect reminder that life is what you make of it. Sometimes life gives you lemons you choose to make the pie (not really a lemonade fan). Sometimes the plan God has for us differs from the plan we have for ourselves. You are never too old to learn that lesson. I had a dream fall apart today and I had not got to read the blog until today. Maybe there is a reason for that! Keep spreading the joy and fashion Ashley, you are a blessing to your customers!
Melissa
Melissa
Thank you so much for sharing! It’s nice to hear people keep it real!! I think we all have broken dreams, but it’s the fact that we keep on dreaming and eventually building on new ones that keeps us going. I struggled with addiction for over 20yrs and finally, by the grace of God, get to start working on all my dreams again. I loved reading the parts about where you thought you’d be in life, friends, house, etc…because I thought the same things. Now I’m almost 40, live with my kids at my moms house and have none of the things I’d originally planned on having by 40. And that is OK. My family and God have taught me I’m where I am supposed to be. I’m constantly working to better myself now and we have so much life left to live there’s bound to be a zillion more dreams we can accomplish! On Mother’s Day, my teen daughter told her Sunday school teacher when asked what is special about your mom, “My mom never gives up.” That makes all my broken dreams seem so trivial now and my heart swell with love for the new. Thanks for the thought provoking blog…again. <3
Joyce Ivins
Joyce Ivins
I’m so proud of you. You are a strong person stronger than I am. Thanks for sharing. My husband and I have moved around a lot he was in the air Force. He has retired 20 years. It has been a long ride. My two kids a boy and a girl do not live near me. one is in Arizona and the other is in Oklahoma. My life like everyone else’s has Been up and down. I’ve had friends. But because we move around a lot you lose them and lose touch. I’m around family now. But I have been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. Some days are not so good. And I deal with depression severe. I am stabled. But I have my days. I enjoyed watching you girls. I look forward to it. I used to just watch TV all the time. Sometimes go for a walk. But now I can’t wait till you guys come on. Thank you Ashley. and for being who you are you’re very strong thank you for sharing. We got to keep on keepin on I’m going to try 2 lose weight and workout. Sometimes it’s just so hard. And I’m going to keep trying. And keep watching you gals love you all. 😁😎🤗
Jeanelle
Jeanelle
This really hit home for me. I’m not where I had planned for me to be in life. I wanted to be and interior designer so I went to college I graduated with honors with a BS in interior design and architecture. I was never one of girls that dreamed of being married and having kids. Fast forward I’m going to be 40 next month I’m married and have two wonderful kids and yet to have my career job. What can I say God had other plans for me Thank you for sharing your story with us. You don’t realize how many people you touch with stories or help
Judi
Judi
You have so many gifts and we are blessed that you found your path and share them with us. Thank you for these beautiful words, they are so powerful. You are so powerful. Thank you for inspiring me.
Karen
Karen
Ashley this is your best blog ever it made me cry happy tears of joy for you and your family. Everyone deserves dreams to come true God doesn’t always answer them the way we want them to but he sure has for you I am grateful I found you on Facebook. You have a beautiful family and your husband seems to love you a lot you can tell by the way he looks at you. Say true to yourself
Lisa Ann
Lisa Ann
Literally brought me to tears! That doesnt happen easily! Beautifully said Ash! You’re truly an inspiration to so many! Keep doing the amazing things you do…things will only get better!
Gigi
Gigi
Thanks for sharing from your heart💕💕. The ladies from the Rise Tribe have given me sunshine in my days. You are a great example of strength and love. Peace and Love in our lives.💚💙💜💛💟
Lori Clark
Lori Clark
What a great story. I just love your attitude. I lost my 13yr old son to brain cancer in April of 2014. He would have graduated this year. If it weren’t for God I would not be here. I definitely live by that quote you have in your blog
Diann Wetherwax
Diann Wetherwax
Beautifully said
Tammy VanSickle
Tammy VanSickle
Perspective. It’s all in the way you perceive things. We spend so much of our lives comparing ourselves to others that we don’t see what’s right in front of us. Broken dreams as you put it, we’ve all had them. It’s doesn’t seem easy not having the “perfect life” we envisioned. I myself, a single mom of a daughter with mental health problems and a son who has an incurable kidney disease never thought I would be living the life I am. It’s hard to admit the struggles in your life when it seems everyone else has it so much better. You want the honor roll student, the kind of love with someone you see in the movies, the beautiful house, a job you love and money in the bank. But it’s not about any of that. It’s about navigating through the struggles your dealt, because believe it or not, everything does happen for a reason. You have found your perspective Ashley, and isn’t it a beautiful thing! You’re an inspiration and so much more than you probably ever imagined. We’re all right where we belong…broken dreams and all💕
Donna Lins
Donna Lins
Very well written. I am inspired to pick myself up and try to follow a new set of hopes and dreams for myself.
Frankie Sanders
Frankie Sanders
As I sit here and read your blog it brings such an uplifting sense of belonging to a group of women that I have never met but feel such a sense of connection with. I look forward to every live that I can watch and interact with not only with Ashley and the wonderful group she has with her there but with all the other followers like me that get on and watch and support ACB and each other. I would have seen my life in a different place than what it is now I was always was one that thought I would travel be on the go all the time see so many different parts of the world, but that’s not the way it turned out. I am in a town 15 minutes from a town I grew up in. Here’s the thing I love my life I love my children of 5 my grandchildren of 10 and one on the way any time now. I am where God wants me to be and I have learned to love the life that he has blessed me with. I could go on but this is not supposed to be my blog lol. I just want to say this, thank you Ashley for sharing yourself and your life with all of us. What makes you and yours so fun to watch is it is real. Ya never know what is going to happen and I love that, its real. Thanks for letting us know that sometimes things turn out differently than what we thought or what we wanted it to be, we need to just embrace our life and know we are where we should be for that moment, enjoy and be thankful for where you are and always be open to changes.
Maria Vargas
Maria Vargas
Ashley, this made me cry and smile all at the same time. God really does have a vision for us. It may not be exactly how we expect it but he knows what he is doing. I admire you so much for all that you do. God bless you girl! You are an inspiration.
Lillian
Lillian
I Loved reading your story,Yes your journey in life never is what you wanted it be.But yours is pretty Awesome at this point in time.All my dreams come true, I don’t know what happened to my journey Lol,It Ali come crashing down on me 4 years ago,Won’t go into details,But Ashley I Loved reading your story,You are truly Blessed,The Sky is the limit for the taking,And grab ever piece of your pie.Love you my sweet Ashley.
Kelli Masi
Kelli Masi
I love this you are an amazing woman, you helped me in the past year become the woman that am now I never cared about wearing clothes that made me feel good I would wear jeans and a zip up hoodie or just a slim fitted shirt and that was my outfit for the day but watching you and seeing you ladies in the clothes has made me say I’m gonna do this and now I have a new wardrobe that I’m actually happy about wearing you have given me that boost of confidence. So thank you ladies and thank you Ashley for sharing your story you have given me another boost of confidence ❤❤❤❤❤
Denise
Denise
Reminds me a lot of one of Garth Brooks songs….some of God’s best work….is unanswered prayers. Your “broken” had allowed us all to things and experiences still being uncovered. Keep rising, Ashley. God has big plans for you!
Eli
Eli
Really loved this. We become who we become because of the struggle. ❤️
Dawn Petrus
Dawn Petrus
Ashley What an amazing story, im writing this with tears rolling down my cheeks, it is so moving and heartfelt. I could feel the happiness and love coming from your story. You are amazing at what you do. Your show, your staff they truly make you feel uplifted. I love them and Andrew hes a trip love when you have him on. Im usually the quiet one watching and laughing enjoying the show. You sell amazing products, beautiful clothing and accessories. You will grow by the thousands. One last thing your an amazing family those children are so lucky to be CHOSEN by you and Shaun that makes it even more special to give these children who may of had a horrible life, the life they deserve. P.S. your writings are beautiful truly you should write a book I know I would read it!!!! Keep on Rising!!!!
Margaret Knobloch
Margaret Knobloch
Ashley you are a beautiful soul and very talented I’m so honored to have met you .. I pray you continue to rise and girl, go get that first class ticket.. you know you got this 💕🙏🤗
Laura Sturgis
Laura Sturgis
Wow! I to find myself not living the life i imagined for myself but like you said we thank god for the life he has given us and the people in it ! And i am happy to say that im so glad i found you to Ashley everytime i watch you and its not just about the clothes you somehow find away to cheer me up make me laugh and feel just like a friend and most of all To love myself and feel Beautiful.
Lisa Thomason
Lisa Thomason
Good read. We may not understand at the time but sometimes our dreams are not God’s plan. Sounds like you’ve ended up in a pretty great place. Are you on your way back to LA again? P.S I hope you get to fly first class too 😉
Darlene Izzo
Darlene Izzo
Ashley, You are one inspiring young woman that has truly inspired many ladies including myself. I was on rock bottom when I found your live one night. I no longer cared about fashion, hair, makeup. I was introverted and simply wanted to stay in my home. I had given up on my dreams and my chain was broken from losing my best friend my daughter my world. I had dreams that were shattered first it was 911 where I lost my childhood best friend and my career all in one day and then, 16 years later, I lost my daughter. I went from being a successful stockbroker to living in FL where I never dreamed I would be until maybe after retirement. I had given up on life and then one night after watching Ashley’s Chic Boutique you gave me hope again. I have become stronger in my spirituality and started to believe in myself again. I care about Fashion and even wore shorts again outside my home after 18 years of saying ‘no’ I would never wear them again. I have a family but they are 12 hours away and they are all busy with their lives being successful and could not understand why I could not just pick myself back up and proceed. I am now back working in the office Part-Time with my accounting business, I have also started to work Part-Time with Government Contracts, but I owe all the this to you, Ashley, you have put the broken pieces of my life back together along with our Lord Jesus Christ and the great friendships I have made through watching your live videos . You may have never thought you would be where you are but sometimes God leads us in a different directions and I am grateful to you Ashley, your beautiful family and your great team!

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