Take Center Stage

Take Center Stage

ACB Staff20 comments

I’m super active on social media, which means that hundreds of pictures and videos (some amazingly flattering like the one below, and some not-so-flattering) are all over the inter-webs. Inevitably every few months or so, I’ll have a live where trolls super bombard me. Their goal is to come into a live cause chaos, make rude and crude comments, and be generally distracting. People are brave from behind a keyboard, which means that it’s effortless for them to be a jerk with ZERO consequences. I’ve been called everything under the sun. "Fat" is probably the most common, although general explicitly sexual offers and comments happen as well.

 

 

 Do you know what I meet that with?

Humor, kindness, or no reply at all! I get comments from clients often, asking how I handle it so well or with grace. The truth? I love myself. It took me a long time to be able to say that. It took me a long time to understand that it wasn’t wrong! It didn't make me vain. I don’t believe a love for yourself means you have to be a certain weight or even your goal weight. I don’t believe it has anything to do with your physical appearance, the title you hold, or what’s in your bank account. No, I don’t think it is any of that at all.

 

 Loving yourself is about knowing your worth. It’s about respecting yourself and your needs. I'm talking about needs not wants; I'm not advocating for manicures and Mercedes, I'm speaking about rest, nutrition, and self-care. Loving yourself means believing in yourself and your dreams. Even if those around you think they’re silly or unattainable. Loving yourself means talking positively about and to yourself. No more “I’m too dumb” “If only I were smaller,” “I’ll never make it.”

 

 

Loving yourself means just that. Without limitations, contingency clauses, and even when you eat the entire bag of potato chips. It’s cheering the loudest for yourself when you win and giving yourself grace when you don’t. I know you may be thinking OK Ash, but it’s easier said than done! No worries! It’s a process! Rome was not built in a day, and falling in love with yourself won’t happen overnight. But you’ve stuck with me this far, so here you go:

 

Practical Application :

  1. Choose gratitude. It’s difficult to focus on everything that could be conceived as wrong with you or your life when your spending that time being grateful for what’s right. Remember the movie, Pollyanna? The glad game? A young orphaned girl who believes that positivity can solve even the most difficult of life's problems. That. Do that. Over and over until you get to the point where you allow yourself no more than 5 minutes of annoyance before finding your glad and it’s become more natural to feel gratitude than frustration. 
  1. Make sure you’re sleeping, nourishing your body, and taking time to de-stress. Nobody is at their best when they’re exhausted and eating garbage. Take a nap, drink water, and find a quiet place to refresh. I spent an entire blog post about this so instead of reiteration here’s the link! Give it a read. https://ashleyschicboutique.com/blogs/news/a-really-good-cup-of-coffee
  1. Stop with the negative self-talk, stop allowing others to talk negatively about you to you, and stop accepting less than you deserve! Now I’m not talking about entitlement. What I mean is, while it may be true that you can’t control what others think and do, you can establish clear boundaries against toxic people and toxic self-worth. I once heard you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Guess what!  YOU are the voice you hear the most. What are you saying to yourself about yourself?
  1. Practice positive affirmations. Every morning stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself 3 positive things about yourself. Even if you don’t believe it yet. Things like: you’re beautiful, you’re a great mom, you’re an amazing friend, you’re the best boss! Seriously, do it. You don’t get a famous quote or an anecdote here. Just do it.

 

I hope this has helped you to find healthy ways to eliminate the trolls in your life! Take a minute and share this with someone who needs to hear it.

 

Congrats to Rhonda Roop our $50 Gift Card Winner! To enter to win next week's giveaway share this blog with a friend and leave a comment below!

 

Chic Blessings Friends, 

20 comments

Sheri Stevenson
Sheri Stevenson
Your confidence in who you are is very uplifting to watch.. as someone who has spent the majority of my 73 years on this planet doing for everyone else first..it’s life changing to hear and think that I should put myself first.. Your positive energy is contagious.. Thank You!! I am retired and on my own so I am only able to buy occasionally but love to watch the live presentations ..
Sheri Stevenson
Sheri Stevenson
Your confidence in who you are is very uplifting to watch.. as someone who has spent the majority of my 73 years on this planet doing for everyone else first..it’s life changing to hear and think that I should put myself first.. Your positive energy is contagious.. Thank You!! I am retired and on my own so I am only able to buy occasionally but love to watch the live presentations ..
Tammie Grimes
Tammie Grimes
I can 9only dream to have your confidence and your such a no nonsense personality. You are so beautiful inside and out I will be honored to share your blog. You are so aspiring. You have a beautiful heart and loving soul and the most amazing family. 💜💙💚💛
Nannette Winters
Nannette Winters
I love this !! You speak the absolute truth. We must learn to love ourselves. You have given me inspiration, yes I have my bad times like now when I dont even want to go out. I’m glad to see blogs and post that inspire me to not give up. Thanks for all you do for us ladies, we truly appreciate it and love you
Sheila Cale
Sheila Cale
I shared this with my daughter who needed to hear this. Also, I needed to hear this. I for along time have had to take a back seat to how I cared about myself. Once I found Ashley’s page I started to think, she is so positive and I want to be that way as well. So I backed my ears and I started. I cleaned out my closets and gave away 30 years of clothes that were too small or way to big thinking, “ I will wear them again” well was not happening and I knew someone could use those 50 pairs of jeans in various sizes, or those shoes. I then started building up me for me, to feel good for me. I started with being more positive about myself. I needed to wear wigs due to hair loss right in the top and not able to hide it no more. I then started to get more sleep and get up earlier to wear makeup. I can remember being nervous walking into work but I was met with, “wow” you’ve changed and as long as you feel good that’s all that matters. Until I found Ashley’s site was I not awaken. Lol I have watched other boutiques but Ashley not only gives positive vibes she helps you to be aware you can be the woman who falls in love with you and your body and not worrying about what anyone else thinks. Thanks for being you Ashley and pushing positive vibes on each and everyone you come in contact with.
Janine Angelo
Janine Angelo
Love Love Love this blog!! Sincere and genuine and exactly what I needed read right about now. Thanks so much sharing xoxo
Michelle  Meehan
Michelle Meehan
Thank you for another great read! You’re very inspirational. I feel drawn to you because you understand the issues of a plus-size lady. I admit I don’t always have a lot of confidence mainly when it comes to social events and relationships. I do when it comes to my job and some other things. I know but I do need to learn to love myself better and to mostly start taking better care of myself because that’s where I always drop the ball. That’s why I enjoy watching your live shows because you’re so beautiful and you have so much confidence and I hope I can be like you. Thank you again I did share this on Facebook on my page. I’m looking forward to the next blog!
Peggy
Peggy
I am going to share this with all of my daughter, Thank you Ashley!
Peggy
Peggy
I willl share this with all of my daughters, well said Ashley. Thank you!
Krislyn Brinkman
Krislyn Brinkman
As always, another great read. You are so right, so many of us think bad of our ownselves and don’t think we have worth. I’m included in this too. I’ve always struggled with my weight, before gastric bypass and now even 15 years again after gastric bypass surgery. I always told myself if I could just loose the weight my life would be better. I did loose like 132 lbs at one point but gained nearly most back. So that inself is a big set back in my life that I’m ashamed of and think negative thoughts of myself. I needed hear these words of courage and wisdom today. I love your lives, you have the best, fun personality to run the show! You make it fun just to watch and interact and also bring us all some great merchandise. Thanks for being you and a great tribe leader . Ashley! I will be sharing this with my daughter Makala. She is struggling so hard in her life with being a single Momma of two. She could use some good words!
Christa Aydelotte
Christa Aydelotte
What a great inspiration! As Women I think we we strive to be perfect and in that process are feeling like we are not enough and unfortunately filling our thoughts with self doubt and bad self talk. If we can focus on living intentionally vs perfectly we will be more happy and fulfilled and, our love for self and others around us will grow thus helping us to feel more love and joy in our lives. Service to those around us is the key. While helping others focused on doing good we grow in self l love and feel valued and are more happy!
Peggy York
Peggy York
Shared with daughter inlaw in hopes it helps her with what the futher may be. She can’t make her own blood. And they say it’s cancer. But 30 days 3 drs still no treatment. Last night went to er this morning had her appendix removed sent home 4 hours later go back to work Tuesday. So Ashley you words your out look is the best think I know to send her. Your a blessing to have as a friend.
Iris Lee
Iris Lee
I love your blog chica, every since I met you Live I started enjoying your sense of humor and the way you laugh. I felt that even if we make mistakes it’s ok and not wrong to express what you feel. We are human and we need to learn how to accept yourself and believe in yourself and definitely love yourself even if you have flaws. I love how you feel comfortable in your own skin and make us accept how we look with makeup and without makeup, messy buns, tired eyes and feeling stress. Make the best of it and smile and continue looking forward. You have taught us so many things and I appreciate your sweet loving charming spirit that keeps us happy. I admire you chica you have it all and you have a loving supportive family which makes it even special. Love you bunches❤️😘😍💕💯😘❤
Billie Dean
Billie Dean
Very well written!! I definitely need to work on these things.Thanks Ashley for writing this! Wearing wiggies gives me a confidence I never had. Your lives gives me hope!
Nannette Winters
Nannette Winters
You are so right! Thank you for all you do. I have been there also . When I was in school there was a black girl that always called me fat and other names she was three times my size, I never said anything to her to make her call me names. People can be so mean. You are beautiful so glad I have met you.
Penny Priddle Kubicek
Penny Priddle Kubicek
Shared with my daughter! It does take a lot to learn to love yourself. I spent 20+ years in an abusive marriage. I’ve been out 5 and am now married (since June) to an amazing loving man who is my partner and best friend not my controller. I still need to remind myself daily to love myself and that I am ok!
Laura Sturgis
Laura Sturgis
Ashley Ryckman you are so kind And Honest just a great all around person. And to have your own Boutique and to get out on social media and do what you do it is so amazing. Sometimes it’s hard to step out of your comfort zone and get out there. As I’ve been watching your live shows with your clothing and your wiggies I’ve learned so much from you and even the makeup videos. You have helped boost my selfasteem terminusly . I’m trying so hard to step out and do the things I’ve wanted to do for so long . I now stand in the mirror and say I love you and you can do it! Thanks a million Ash love you!
Rhonda Roop
Rhonda Roop
I’m super excited to win!!! Thank you so much. Actually, wearing my wiggies helps me feel beautiful and special. Thank you, Ashley, for being you and a great example for all of us.
Erica Krahnke
Erica Krahnke
Wow does this hit close to home. I’ve struggled to be happy with myself, reading this change my whole attitude. I can do this and love myself!
Kristi Hopkins
Kristi Hopkins
Thank you for this blog. I have always struggled with loving myself. I was never smart enough, pretty enough, and just felt like I wasn’t good enough. I am slowly learning that I am Enough! I have stopped thinking so negatively about myself and try to find the positives. I’m not there yet but I am working on it and this blog helped.

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